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        You cannot find real love at an older age, until you grasp this: You have more years behind you then ahead of you. Though you can grow old with grace, most assuredly every one of us in this world will die.

         We have to make a shift in how we conceive of love. We have to change our state of mind in regard to our ideal of love.   

           Personally, I knew what love  meant for me when I was young, beautiful, and sensual. 

           It meant falling into the arms of a handsome ripe and mellow man.

           I knew what it meant for me when I got married at 24 to an attractive, but not a knock- down-handsome male. He made up with his lively mind what he lacked in brawn.

            Love meant living in the woods. Love meant moving to have adventures in Israel, writing together and studying philosophy and exploring all kinds of ideas.

            Love meant trust. He was my dear friend.  The father to my children.

           Love meant staying together to escort our children to teen hood and then adulthood. Once they became adults,  my need for my own space grew.

           Love with graying hair became awareness of my own separate existence and changing needs. Love meant I had earned a badge.  I was a survivor of marital fights and fury and rollercoasters of making up and starting over again. Together my husband and I became become grandparents for the first time and 14 times thereafter.         

         When my husband became sick and succumbed to his illness, my white-haired  love took the shape of a new crater in my heart. I sought to fill this by reaching out to other widows, by coaching them and mentoring them. And by relying on another love of my life. 

         Love for me is writing and teaching others to ease their pains and capture joys of their fleeting lives. 

         And yes, hearing about what you have to say about what love has meant to you and how you are finding it at an older age!